U is for Uniform

By definition, a uniform is a distinctive type of clothing worn for the purpose of identification. Many people enjoy wearing uniforms for both BDSM/kinky purposes or in the course of their jobs. After all, who hasn't heard about the mythical "man in uniform" scenerio or the French Maid's uniform. Clothing says a lot about us. … Continue reading U is for Uniform

T is for Training

I know to the Vanilla groups, training sounds archaic. But if you think about it, we train our bodies and minds in many ways - exercise, suduko, learning new skills. Really, that's all Submissive Training really is - learning a new skill. In this blog post, a woman decides to go to  The Disciplinarian in order … Continue reading T is for Training

S is for submissive

I don't like when people, some even within the lifestyle, believe that a submissive is a weaker person, one whose purpose is to serve unconditionally. This is totally false. Submissives do not suffer from low self esteem, inferiority complex, acceptance of abuse, or any other mental illness any more than the rest of the population. … Continue reading S is for submissive

Q is for Quirt

"The falls on a quirt are made of leather, usually cow hide. The core of the quirt can be a leather bag filled with lead shot; the main part including the handle is often made from braided rawhide, leather, or kangaroo hide and is usually somewhat stiff but flexible." Originally, a quirt was used to help motivate a horse … Continue reading Q is for Quirt

P is for Play party

So there are parites - gathering of friends or friends of friends where drinks, conversation, and food is often shared. Sometimes there's music, sometimes games. At an Adult Play Party, much of the same is true, except the games are far more of a sexual nature. Despite what people think, a Play part is NOT … Continue reading P is for Play party

N is for Negotiation

Fifty Shades got some things right - negotiation was one of them, althought the follow through wasn't quite there IMHO. Negotiation is a term used to explain the discussion before play. These negotiations can be as simple as saying "I like this but I don't like that." to a formal contract clearly defining soft limits, … Continue reading N is for Negotiation

M is for Mental Bondage

BDSM doesn't have to involve ropes, chains, and cuffs. Sometimes, just a word is enough. A long time ago I was mentally in a place where I simply could not stand even the sight of ropes, cuffs, or any other form of physical bondage. We worked our way back slowly. My husband, always creative, slowly … Continue reading M is for Mental Bondage

L is for Limits

So there are hard limits and soft limits in BDSM.  A soft limit is a practice where either the submissive or the dominant (Yes, dominants have limits too!!) is willing to attempt but is unsure. The uncertainty might come from having never done it before, the practice being a trigger, health reasons, or fear. Nonetheless, … Continue reading L is for Limits