Rituals serve a purpose. They put us in the right frame of mind for the occassion. Eventually, we react instinctively when we are the midst of a ritual. Having been brought up Catholic, all I have to do is hear the words “In the name. . ” and I’m finishing the words and moving to make the sign of the cross even though I have not  considered myself Catholic in over 15 years. BDSM rituals work in a similar manner. The key to ritual, though, is simplicity and repetition. When learning a ritual, expect confusion and mistakes. However, stick with it. Eventually, the ritual will become habit. And then muscle and mind memory will take over. Once that has been established, you can lay off for a bit.

For example, in my book Tasting Pleasure Mr. Devonshire teaches Alicia to greet him by kneeling before him and, when he touches her head, performing fellatio. Eventually, whenever Alicia hears the words “Greet me” she drops to her knees. When given the signal, she unzips her Master’s trousers and sucks his cock until he either comes or pulls out of her mouth. She even greets Mr. Devonshire’s friends in this way when she is ordered to do so.

True, this is fiction and real life is often far less predictable, but life can imitate art to a certain extent. Just keep the ritual simple. When mistakes are made, be understanding, but also firm, especially during the first two months – the average time it takes to create a habit.